Advice

Below is a list of repeated bits of advice that have begun to wear on my nerves (but no offense to those who give this advice):

1. Stop looking for love, and it will find you - This is my favorite one to hate. One day, am I just going to say, "to hell with love," and then Prince Charming is going to knock on my door?
   
   Of course there is always a part of me that dreams about finding Mr. Right. This doesn't mean that I'm desperately searching for someone. I'm not going to the bars every night, I haven't joined every online dating site there is.
   
   It means that I pray for love. I pray for my heart. I pray for my possible future husband's heart. And I pray that we will know, without a doubt, when we find each other. I was reminded yesterday of Ephesians 5: 22-33, which is a beautiful description of what marriage should be. And that's what I pray for.



2. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you - It boils down to self-esteem, which is admittedly a struggle for me at times. But, I think self-esteem ebbs and flows and is never ending.
   
   I am constantly trying to better myself, so this is an on-going process for me. Technically, I will never be completely satisfied with myself, but isn't this what keeps one motivated to be a better person? But, overall, I think I'm pretty awesome.
   


3. Everything happens for a reason - I will admit that I was once a firm believer in this phrase. I'm not so sure anymore. I believe some things happen for a reason, and sometimes, to quote Forrest Gump, "shit happens."
   
   Do I think God wanted my ex to have an affair? No. But, God gives us free-will and a brain. And my ex used his free will and brain to choose to cheat on me.
   
   And, through prayer, I chose to leave an unhealthy marriage. My thought is maybe God knew that my ex would never be faithful to me. That he was poison to me and he would always be an absent father to our daughter. And so He saved me from a lifetime of frustration and pain and freed me by giving me peace and comfort with my decision. And I am so thankful.
   


4. Your happiness does not depend on someone else - It doesn't, but I believe that my happiness would be enhanced with the right person.
   
   Companionship is one of our humanly needs. Like food, water and shelter. Take the movie Castaway, the main character created a friend out of a Wilson volleyball (I guess this is a Tom Hanks - themed post). And who didn't cry when Wilson was lost at sea?
   
   
   Obviously, I can make it on my own. I have essentially raised my daughter alone since she was born, I have lived on my own for more than two years, so I know I can make it alone. But, I am human, I am a woman, and I desire that adult interaction some days.
   
   It would be nice to come home and share my day with another adult. (However, it is quite adorable when Piper asks me "What did you do today?" at the dinner table.) When Piper is sick in the middle of the night, and I'm not sure what to do, it would be nice to have someone to consult.
   
   When the doctor office calls to remind me to get a follow-up ultrasound on my breast because of the "unknown mass" that was found a year ago (even though I told them that was my breast), and I avoid it like the plague because I'm scared of cancer that has been a wild tornado all around me, taking people left and right, I would like someone to hug me. I would like to have a Wilson in my life.
   


5. Get over it, and move on - The wounds that my ex left cut deep, and I doubt I will ever get over what he did.
   
   The pain his actions caused taught me some very tough lessons, but lessons I needed to learn. My divorce experience opened my eyes, made me stronger and keeps me grounded. After immersing myself into Momastery, she helped me realize that I am thankful I went through the pain I did, as horrific and terrible as it seemed at the time. For three reasons:
   
   1) If I felt indifference and apathy during my divorce, that would mean that I never really cared for my ex. It would mean that I spent 8 years with someone I didn't really love. It would mean that I had a child with someone I had no feelings for. I will never know his feelings on the matter, but I know now that those are his demons to fight, not mine.
   
   2) I am not quick to fall for someone. I am naive and lived a shelter life, so going through a divorce because of a cheating husband at the age of 27 was kind of a shock to me (and to my family). But, I learned the hard way not to believe everything everyone says. I have learned my worth, and I don't have to settle. My confidence has actually improved since the divorce.
   
   3) I learned I am not perfect. And that's OK. No one is. Hindsight is 20/20, and I can see that I wasn't perfect in my marriage (but I am no way justifying my cheating ex-husband.) But, I have learned the true meaning of "pick your battles," and "don't sweat the small stuff."
   
   I was talking to a friend about the imaginary (or maybe not so imaginary) list that most of us women have when it comes to qualities we want in a man. I told her that I don't think anyone will match my entire list, and she said, "no, but shoot for 90%."

On the other hand, here are some things I do like to hear:

1. "You're awesome"



2. "Your ex left you for her. What a dumbass."



3. "You're so much better off."



4. "You are going find someone so wonderful."



5. "Here's some wine."

No need to settle

I have heard the advice that the next time around, I shouldn't settle, not even a little. I listened to this advice and shook my head with agreement, but it wasn't until recently did it really soak in. And I am truly understanding what it is to find myself and what I want in a mate. I have a fresh start, a blank slate, to be ridiculously happy. I have the chance to find a person who understands me, makes me laugh, spoils me a little, loves my daughter, and even takes out the trash! He's out there, and he has...

Looks like Josh Duhamel

Humor of Daniel Tosh

Quirky adorableness of John Krasinski

The voice (and eyes) of Jared Leto

And the intense romantic nature of Edward Cullen


OK, so maybe those standards are a little high, but it's fun to dream!

Game Day!

"It's game day!!!"

This was the phrase of the day last Saturday while I was in Norman for the Sooners game.

And. it. was. AWESOME!





I had such a great time, catching up with my roommates and old friends from college. I loved seeing so much Crimson and Cream and fellow Sooner fans, which we all know is a rarity in south Texas. Driving through the streets of Norman brought back so many great memories of the carefree days of college. Before marriage, divorce, child, and career. I am so thankful I had such a great college experience - it helped make me who I am today.

The drive home was a time of reflection, as well. Eight hours in a car by myself gave me a lot of time to think. I thought about how many times I made that 500-mile drive to see Dusty. The butterflies and excitement that multiplied with each mile. I also thought about my next relationship and how it is going to be. How difficult it is going to be for me to trust again, to tear down the wall that I have quickly built. How much self-discovery I have left. It scares me and brings tears to my eyes. I was so blissfully ignorant in my relationship with Dusty - I trusted everything he did and said. Will I ever be able to faithfully trust again? I hope so.

Hello, Blogger.

My snakebite is almost completely healed. It's a little sore at times, but for the most part I am walking normally again - and staying out of tall grass at nighttime.

I'm sitting here, and thinking, I'm 27 and I have an "ex-husband." I just never thought I would say that, especially this young. I'm slowly adjusting to my new life as a single mom. There's good days and bad days. Sometimes the smallest things make me cry, like when one of the shows he use to watch records on the DVR because I forgot to erase it.

The pain from the divorce is subsiding, as well. Just like the snakebite, it still hurts sometimes, but it's like I'm learning what triggers the pain, on both accounts, and avoiding those things.

On a lighter note, me and Piper are having a great summer. Family time, beach trips, birthday parties - we have been busy.

Beauty

Sometimes I look at Piper and I can not get over how beautiful she is. That may sound bias, considering half of her genetic make-up is from me, but nonetheless, I find her to be beautiful. She is talking more these days, and I am astounded by how much she knows.

Up until she turned 2, I judged her age by months, 19 months, 22 and half months. But since her second birthday, she has stayed 2, even though she is technically 25 months. And here are some pictures from her 25th month of life.

Bubbles! Need I say more.


Sometimes my child lets me see the way I must look to her...

I took her to Shy Pond a couple of weeks ago to feed the ducks, and she loved it. And I loved watching her feed them. She would feed them the entire slice of bread.

Happy Blogiversary to Me!

One year ago today, I started this blog. And what a year it has been.

New Year's Resolutions

You know that theory that if you write your goals down, you are more likely to achieve them? Or at least that is what my dad, the avid self-help book reader tells me. So, with that said, maybe if I write my New Year's resolutions (or goals) it will help me...

- Be organized
- Spend more quality time with my daughter and husband
- Save more money
- Pray more

This has been a roller-coaster of a year, including death, cancer, and other problems. And right now, I am in a valley, but I am excited about a brand-new, clean calendar for the new year. I am ready for a fresh start.

Happy New Year!!

Disorganized

Up until the birth of my child, I was an extremely organized person. There was nothing out of place in my purse, I never forgot an appointment, never paid a bill late and my house was always clean. Then this happened...


I went to Pearland today to pick up the last of my Christmas gifts, and I took in some shopping for myself. I went to check out in one store and I needed my license, and I couldn't find it. I wonder why. I was so embarrassed. I have this awful habit of just throwing things in my purse. Doesn't matter what, it all gets thrown in there. Trash, lose change, sippy cups. You never know what will be in the great abyss that is my purse.

I think my New Year's resolution is going to be organization...

Long time, no blog

I feel like it has been eons since I last posted. There hasn't been too many exciting happenings in my life worth blogging about as of late. However, my Twilight obsession continues, and I was so excited to see New Moon on Friday. I went with three other ladies, and it was so much fun. It was the first time I had a girls' night since way before Piper was born. In addition to seeing the second movie, I am reading the fourth book, Breaking Dawn. Though it has been giving me some bad dreams, I can barely pry myself away from it to even write this post!

Besides returning to my fantasy world of Forks, I have been having an emotional battle within myself for a while now. I wish that I could use this blog as an outlet for these thoughts and fears, but I am so embarrassed by neurotic impulses that I can't even bring myself to verbalize what is racing through my mind. I have lost sleep, cried and worn myself sick from my never-ending reel of thoughts. I just pray for peace and understanding of my irrational mind.

Whew

I successfully made it back from my work trip two weeks ago, but haven't slowed down since.


A little bit of a back story: every year at this time my work participates in a huge conference/exhibition in New Orleans. And I get to go and be on my feet for 18 hours a day, but the food in New Orleans is sooo good, I don't mind it. Last year was the first time I went after having Piper, she was only 7 months old, and I survived. The house was a wreak and Dusty used dirty bottles to feed her, but overall, I survived.


This year: I left Tuesday at 6 a.m for New Orleans and returned Thursday night around 10 p.m. Dusty called me on Wednesday to let me know that our A.C. wasn't working. Great. And then by Thursday, he was running a fever and sick. Even better. Thankfully he and Piper were able to stay with his mom. But, I got to come home to a hot, humid house and a sick husband. Awesome. And then I had to be at work Friday morning. Wonderful.

Thank God I had a long weekend.

We did get our A.C. repaired on Friday.


On Saturday, Piper and I went to the mall, ate pizza and went to the park. Then we went to her cousin Wade's 2nd Birthday Party. She had so much fun. There was the Big Bouncy Bus, a moon walk and cake!



After the birthday party, my dad was kind enough to take us to the fair for a couple of hours. It was also the last day of the fair, and for aforementioned reasons, it was the only chance I had to take Piper. This was her first year she was able to ride rides. I think she had a good time. She loved watching all the people more than anything. And, she loved the funnel cake!

Sunday, we went to church and relaxed for the day.

I was off on Monday, and took the day to catch up on laundry and housework. But first, since it was somewhat cool, scratch that, it wasn't in the triple digits, I took Piper back to the Pumpkin Patch. Still not much luck in getting her to hand over the sippy cup.



I took her to day care so I could run to Wal Mart and clean the house, which I did. At her school, they have their own Pumpkin Patch, and they asked that each child bring a pumpkin. Here is Piper contributing.

I love my days off. I love the fall. I love my daughter and husband. Regardless of sick husbands, broken A.C.'s, dirty houses and lack of sleep, life is good.

Fair time

I love fair season in Brazoria County. Growing up, we lived within walking distance of the fair, and I love the sounds and (most of) the smells of the fair. As luck would have it, Dusty and I live relatively close to the fair today. The week is kicked off by the parade - the last time I went to the parade was in 2003. Honestly, I never really had a reason to go until now - I was either at school or I didn't want to wake up that early on a Saturday.

But, we took Piper this year for the first time, and she did so good.

The next picture makes me laugh. Dusty and his siblings are notorious for sneaking into the background of pictures, and they all three got me on this one.

Hopefully I will have some pictures of Piper at the fair soon to post. And another favorite part of this season, it is time for OU/Texas next weekend. Boomer Sooners!

O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A

So I mentioned in my previous post that Dusty and I were going to Oklahoma to get a "new-to-me" car, and we did, but I cannot say it was uneventful.

Let me preface by saying that I had a horrible cough a few days prior to leaving for our trip, hoping that I would be better by Saturday morning - I wasn't. Regardless, we woke up at 6 a.m. on Saturday to be on the plane by 9:10, and barely made it. We flew an hour and a half to Oklahoma City, picked up a rental car, drove another hour to Marlow, Oklahoma to pick up my car, then drove in separate vehicles back to Oklahoma City to drop the rental back off, then another 20 minutes to Norman to our hotel. Exhausting.

But worth it. I love my new car, but even better is the fact that I was able to spend some time in Norman and catch up with my college roommates of three years, Summer and Lindsay. It has been more than four years since I graduated from OU, and I haven't made it back to Norman since.

We met at The Mont, a popular restaurant in Norman, for dinner, drinks and the game. I was quite disappointed that the Sooners lost the only game I watch in Norman in four years, but that's OK, it was so great being a room full of Sooner fans!

Sunday morning, we took off to drive 400+ miles back to Angleton in my new car. The car did great - I did not. I thought I would be fine leaving Piper with my parents for 36 hours, but I wasn't. I cried because I missed her so much, and we couldn't get home fast enough. Between the rain and the Houston traffic, my anxiety got the best of me and poor Dusty had to see me cry for about an hour. Not only that, by the end of the trip I had completely lost my voice due to my cough.

Other than that, it was a great trip!

Busy, busy

What have I been up to since my last blog...

Well, I finished the third book of the Twilight saga, Eclipse. And I'm holding off on starting the next (and last) one, because I have two trips coming up that require plane rides and I want something to entertain me. That, and I don't want the saga to end.


Piper has finished her second week at her new daycare, but not without incident. I got a call Monday afternoon that she had a rash and needed to be picked up. So, I took her to the doctor on Tuesday morning, and it was just a noncontagious rash with no fever (I don't know the medical term for it). While we were at the doctor's office, we went ahead and got her a flu shot - and she didn't cry at all! I got to spend the rest of the afternoon with my precious one, and while I was in the kitchen, I came around the corner to find this (she crawled up on the couch and pulled the cover over herself -- so cute)...

The start of Fall!! Well, kind of. We had a few short days of less-than-hot weather, which were nice. I was able to dress Piper in a couple of her leggings-and-tunic outfits (which I seem to have purchased many of). I'm glad I got a picture of her in this particular outfit because it's cute, and she got some taco sauce on her shirt that I CANNOT get out. I've tried everything from OxyClean (twice) to dish washing detergent. Oh well, at least she got to wear it once, and it wasn't that expensive (thank you, Target).

Lastly, Dusty and I bought me a new-to-me car. We are going to Oklahoma next weekend to get it (which is one of my plane rides I mentioned earlier). I am so excited! I am praying for safe travel and that I didn't buy a lemon.

Playing with food

When Piper was a newborn, I stressed constantly about breastfeeding - if she was getting enough milk, enough nutrients. Was I eating good enough for her? Did I have too much caffeine? And then came baby food. How much is she suppose to eat? What kind of schedule is she suppose to be on? Did she eat enough vegetables? What if she is allergic to something?


Fast forward to now --


Here she is, enjoying some yogurt. The picture really doesn't do the mess she made justice. I think she even had yogurt in her nose.






This was at dinner one night. I guess she was tired. Or my food bored her.





And for some reason, unbeknown to me, she felt the need to take one bite out of each of her crackers at snack. I take that back, she got two bites off of the one to the left.

I have realized that the older she gets, the less I worry about certain things. But with each stage, comes a whole new set of worries. But for now, I will take one day at a time.

The addiction contines

I'm sure all of you dedicated readers out there are wondering where I have been...

I finished Twilight and have since moved on (and finished) to the second book of the saga, New Moon. I am averaging a book a week, and I have two more to go, so....



These books have become a dangerous addiction for me. Friday, I gathered some books of mine that I have read and do not care to keep and traded them in for store credit so I could buy the third book, Eclipse. I do not know what it is about these books that have my undivided attention, but I cannot get enough!

Hair - ology

I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning, and I always get so excited when I get my hair cut (since it only happens about twice a year). I thought it would be fun to explore the history of my hair.

One-year. Not much hair. Not much to tell.

It wasn't until I was about 2 or so did the curls really come in. Here is a picture of me, practicing my domestic duties, at age 3.

For elementary school, I mainly grew out my hair. This is mostly likely due to the fact that my mother, with her straight hair, was pretty clueless when it came to my curls. Age 6.

Then there was middle school. Awful, what-the-heck-was-I-thinking middle school. It was in the era where the "Rachel" and the movie "Clueless" was all the rage. I'll leave it at that. And there are other pictures of me from this time period, but this is what I could find in a pinch. Sorry, Laura. I think this was from the 7th or 8th grade science fair.

High school was a series of grow - straight - curly - cut - grow - straight - curly. Then, my senior year, I got the idea to go with the Keri Russel, cut-it-short hair cut. I only thought I didn't know what I was thinking in middle school.

Then came college. Again, with the same grow - curly - cut - straight cycle mirrored in my high school days. By the end of my time at OU, I had cut my hair short, was highlighting it and straightening it. My boyfriend lived 500 miles away and I didn't go out much - all I had was time.

Here is Dusty and I the night we got engaged in 2004 -

And my graduation in 2005.

Though this look was nice, it was a lot of work. And after getting married, I got lazy. Therefore, I went back to my curly roots.

This is from 2007. (I think)

Since then, I have let my hair grow-grow-grow. Mostly because I am too busy to think about my hair. I have learned that curly is beautiful (though a curse at times, especially when it's humid outside. And I am still looking for a curly-anonymous group.)

This is at my baby shower in Feb. 2008 -

And this was at Piper's first birthday party March 2009. Prenatal vitamins made my hair grow like crazy!! -