I love the movie "Love Actually" - I watch it just to watch the scene above. I obviously wasn't perfect to my ex. Sunday will mark one year since I officially considered us as "separated." It was a shitty way to start 2010, let me tell you. I look back at the resolutions I made last year, and I feel like that kid in class that just doesn't care to do his homework. It is the third day of the year, and I have no desire to make any resolutions for 2011.
But back to being perfect...
Now that I have been separated from Dusty, and my relationship with him, for almost a year, I see what we had in a whole new light. I am seeing how unhealthy we were. When I was with him, I thought what we had worked. But, now that the blinders have been removed, I feel like such a weight has been lifted. I want a partner the next time. I want someone who knows me, and continues to learn about me. I want the next one to know when I leave for work, what my favorite dessert is and other little idiosyncrasies about me. I want someone who will share household chores with me. He may not be perfect to everyone, but to me, he will be perfect.
And you know what's sad? Is there is a chunk of "my wasted heart" that doesn't think I deserve someone like that, or maybe I just think there isn't such a man out there. I'm not ready to rush into anything, and who knows if 2011 will be my year, but I know my confidence is much higher than this time last year. I guess my resolution for 2011 is to not have expectations, or a timeline, or a plan for what my life should be...I just want to let it be.
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