Last night, I was thinking about Dusty and his new girlfriend. The ink wasn't even dry on our divorce decree before they referred to each other as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." It just doesn't seem right, and it made my blood pressure rise.
But then, I got rational. Their relationship is the result of him cheating on me. I will never understand why or how he did what he did. But, I will admit he has stepped up his game as a father, and I am thankful Piper does have a good daddy.
It's going to take me a while to completely get over what he did because of my devotion to him. He was everything to me. My first love. He is the father of my child. But I know I will get there.
I like my life right now. I am having a blast, rekindling friendships I have lost because I shut the world out for the past four years so I could focus on making my marriage work. I forgot who I was. I was always trying to be who I thought he needed me to be. If I cooked more, cleaned more. If I lost weight, took better care of him, maybe that would make him love me again. But now I am realizing who I am, and you know what? And I'm likable, even lovable, just the way I am.
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
i like this post.
ReplyDeletei am so glad to hear that you are enjoying your new life these days. you deserve it! and i'm more than excited about our upcoming zoo day.
(btw, it made my blood pressure rise for you too)
I'm glad you're realizing what the rest of us always knew:
ReplyDelete- you ARE likable
- you are LOVABLE
- EXACTLY the way you are!
xoxo
I haven't commented lately because Noah usually throws a fit as soon as I sit down to the computer, but I let him cry for just a minute so I can read your blog. This entry makes me so happy because you're absolutely right: you are 100% likable AND lovable just as you are, and I'm so glad you know that now. I can't wait for our zoo day either!!!!
ReplyDelete