Good place

I almost feel like I am jinxing myself by saying that I am in a good place. But, I choose to embrace it and enjoy it. And it's not because I am dating anyone or I won the lottery or I found my affordable dream house. I am just in a good place because I am alive and doing well. I haven't forgotten the pain that my ex-husband caused. My wounds are still not completely healed, but I don't get so angry anymore. When I get in an argument with my ex, I am able to smile and brush it off, which is a great accomplishment for me.

However, my thoughts kept me up last night. Maybe it is the cooler weather and the Christmas atmosphere, but I realized I missed the idea of him. I thought about how when you're with someone for a certain amount of time, you become in-sync with him or her. When I was at a Christmas party on Saturday, I watched couples get their photos taken, and it was so cute to see how they posed so naturally. I remember having that with my ex; we could just snap into place right on cue. I remember that place on his chest where I could rest my head so comfortably. I remember how when I held his hand, it was like I was holding everything. Or how his hand fit perfectly on the small of my back. I believed everything about him was made for me and I for him.

Despite these thoughts, tears did not come, which is yet another significant step for me. Rather, I prayed for my future husband - that God not only mold his heart for mine, but He would also mold that spot on his chest where my head will fit perfectly. Oh, and I also prayed that God will put a neon sign on him that reads "To: Tricia; From: God."