Rough patch

It has been a rough year for my family. In December, my aunt, my mother's sister, unexpectedly passed away. Then, my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and underwent surgery, for the first time in his life, in February. Thankfully, he caught it early and is doing very well. However, my aunt, my dad's sister, has recently been diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. I am too afraid to ask the details of her prognosis, because what I have read is discouraging.

This news has hit me really hard. I have thought about it nonstop since finding out this past weekend. I cannot imagine what she is going through, but when I try, I get such a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. It pains me to think of what she must be feeling, and knowing there is nothing you can do.

I think I am also going through the five stages of grief. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Though, I haven't gotten passed anger. My thoughts and feelings have been so over the place. I feel lost, confused, sad, angry and so many other emotions. My friend Missy posted a blog entry the other day that really touched me, and one of my favorite lines is "It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it."