Contradictions

Carpe Diem, but good things come to those who wait.  Don't be afraid to tell someone how you feel, but hold your feelings inside and don't give away too much.  In this day and age, it's okay to ask a guy out.  Make the guy chase you.  Be yourself, but only in certain circumstances. 

Life is full of contradictions.  One friend will tell me something, and another, the complete opposite.  And since I love and respect all the people I let into my life, I take what they say into serious consideration.  As one can imagine, sometimes, my head feels like it is going to explode.   

If you don't want to read about my pity-party, or hear me rant and complain, I suggest you hit the little "x" in the upper-right hand corner.  Consider yourself warned.

I'm tired, damn it.  I'm lonely.  I'm impatient.  I want someone to tell me what is wrong with me (although that is a loaded question).  It's a struggle, because my heart knows that there is a reason I'm still single, but my head cannot figure out why. 

It's tough being a single parent.  Real tough.  And by no means, am I saying I want to find someone so I can have a dad for Piper - just to be clear.  But, jeez.  For example, I've been sick for a couple of days now, and trying to take care of a hyper four-year old alone while running a fever is not exactly fun. 

And then, I seem to run across articles or conversations emphasizing the importance of a father figure in children's lives.  Well, hell!  I had Piper while I was married, but her dad was the one that ran away, and now I have society shaking her finger at me!?  I don't want Piper's version of a father-figure to be a liar and a cheater.  Frustrating!  Thankfully, I have a wonderful father that has been a constant role-model in my daughter's life. 

I wish I could be super-mom, but the reality is I'm not.  And probably never will be.  Thanks to Pinterest, I am constantly reminded that I will never make sandwiches for Piper in the shape of animals.  I will never make my own pop-tarts.  If I cook a meal that doesn't burn, I consider it a success.  Cooking period is a success.  Being a single parent, you have to learn how to balance everything - time, money, emotions.  And it is a struggle! 

I need a nap.  And wine.