Internal Struggle

I am having an internal battle.  The romantic part of me is sitting patiently behind the wall the independent part has built, waiting for her knight to knock it down and bring her flowers.  Independent me tells Romantic me to shut up and continues to lay bricks, building the wall higher and higher.  Romantic me tells Independent me not to give up. 

I want to truly believe I am worthy of respect - because I am, but yet I seem to chase after those who treat me badly.  Why is that?!  Because I think I don't deserve to be treated well? Because I don't know any different? Because I'm scared of getting hurt?  Because I'm guarding my heart? 

My head says that I am ready for a real relationship, but my heart runs and hides at the thought of it.  It's all so confusing and overwhelming.  I think too much.  I need a good night's sleep.